"I Don't Care If It Rains Or Freezes, Long As I Got My Plastic Jesus, Glued To The Dashboard Of My Car"

Why anyone would want a picture of Jesus on the cross featured on their state-issued automobile license plate is beyond me. But, the option apparently soon will exist in Florida. The dying or dead Jesus will be hanging on car bumpers all around the Sunshine State. An alternate “Faith” plate showing a stained-glass window underscored by “I believe” in fancy, old-time religion lettering will be available for those who choose to express their convictions less graphically. No word so far on Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Wicca, agnostic or atheist plates hitting the streets.

Howard Troxler, a columnist for the St. Petersburg Times, points out that while the blood, body punctures, and other signs of the horrific form of capital punishment inflicted on Jesus known as crucifixion will be obscured from view, there still not only is the question of whether Jesus should be featured on any government-produced item, but also how it all fits in with Jesus’ teachings about the practice of Christian spirituality.

Troxler writes, “my first thoughts were more about the stories of Christ in the Bible, angrily throwing the money changers out of the temple, and instructing his followers to pray privately in their closets rather than displaying prideful piety on the public streets like the 'hypocrites' (which is exactly what he said. Look it up.)… Since everybody these days claims to know What Jesus Would Do, let me ask a question. Do you think he would want to be mass-produced by Caesar's state, sold for money and displayed on the public streets to gratify an act of pandering political piety?”

As I read Troxler’s column, my mind drifted back to something I witnessed on a regular basis in a previous period of my life. There used to be a woman who frequented the east steps of the U. S. Capitol and placed a life-sized mannequin, outfitted to look like a Caucasian perception of Jesus, on the steps. Nearby was her boom box, blaring her version of appropriate music. I presume she may have had some pamphlets or other hand-outs to convert heathens; but I, like everyone else, gave her wide berth as we buzzed in and out the Capitol, so I never found out about that. People who do such things are nuts, right? That’s what many seemed to think of this particular person.

What will observers think of folks who have a beautified Jesus dying very politely and discreetly on their license plates? I doubt there will be lumps in throats or solitary tears slowly rolling down cheeks. No conversions will occur, either.

“Well, I don’t care what others think!” might be the retort of Jesus license plate bearers. Then why have them? To prove something to oneself? To counter the secular nature of our culture and society? Defiant “Christianity” generally is an ugly thing.

Perhaps some imagine God will be impressed by this display of the smoothed-over suffering of their Lord. My sense is that ain’t gonna happen. (Something about graven images...they're bad!)

Like I said – understanding the validity, meaning, or importance of this is beyond me.

Oh wait…

Maybe those who pushed this through the legislature will be rewarded with votes from those who can’t – or won’t – see through their veneer of religiosity.